Cloth Diapers – Go For It!

By Carrie

We chose to use cloth diapers right from the start.  My husband was on board when he calculated how much cheaper it would be.  I wanted natural fibres against my child’s most sensitive parts and felt it would help our child to have an awareness of wet/dry that would help later on when it came to toilet learning.

Many of our friends use cloth diapers so it felt very “normal” to us and we had lots of help answering the many questions that arise.  What style?  What brand?  What detergent?  How many?  And so many more questions!  Entering the world of cloth diapers is pretty overwhelming.  We went to a cloth diaper workshop put on by a local cloth diaper company, Little Monkey Store, and decided to go with their newborn rental pack.  (please note the company is no longer local and under different ownership in Edmonton)  If you’re interested in learning more about cloth diapers check out Cloth 101 or any cloth diapering company.  My experience is that they’ve all been very helpful.

A. wearing a newborn cloth diaper and the under shirt made during our training

If you are able to do a newborn cloth diaper rental I highly recommend it.   (New and Green does a newborn rental program for those on Vancouver Island and in the Lower Mainland)  Newborn diapers are smaller so they aren’t gigantic on your itty bitty newborn.   It gives you an authentic, trial run so you are able to decide which type you feel comfortable using, or if cloth diapers are for you.  It made the routine of washing diapers just part of having a baby, right from the beginning.  It also gave my husband time to scope out a good deal for the diapers we purchased when she grew out of the newborn diapers.  (Newborn diapers last until about 14-16 lbs.)

What I thought I’d like (fitted/pre-fold with cover) ended up being different in reality (All-In-One).  Through our trial I realized I really didn’t mind putting in extra loads of laundry (takes me only a minute or two) but didn’t like the extra time folding the laundry and stuffing the diapers.  The All-in-Ones were super easy to fold, no stuffing required (yay!), and I didn’t feel like I was spending a ton of extra time doing laundry.  Most people are put off that All-In-Ones cost a bit more, but with some extra time using the newborn diapers we were able to wait until a sale came on so we didn’t end up spending extra money.  We ended up purchasing Blueberry and BumGenius, with a mixture of snap and hook & loop closures.  I loved how slim they fit, fast they dried, and the great colours and prints.  It’s also been great having two different types as the fit and the absorbency are slightly different so have been great for different purposes or different stages of her growth.  

And dealing with the poop?  I was able to exclusively breastfeed A. so this meant just sticking the soiled diapers in a dry diaper pail, washing every second day, putting them on a drying rack (in the sun whenever the opportunity arose), fold, and put away.  Once we introduced solid foods we chose to use flushable liners.  Oh, and the poop has always been contained in the cloth diaper, with perhaps the odd occasion of a little leakage from newborn runny poops with some of the newborn cloth diapers (we didn’t end up purchasing those types).  We also chose to use cloth wipes with just water.  I do admit that it is an extra step wetting a fresh set of wipes each morning but again, it takes only a minute so once it’s part of your routine it’s not a big deal.  Out of the three we purchased (Thirsties, GroVia, and Kissiluvs), we like the GroVia wipes the best.  Cloth wipes are easy to sew if you wish to do so.  By choosing to use pre-moistened cloth wipes it made changing a diaper like using disposables except we just put the wipe and the diaper into the diaper pail.  We found cloth diapering when out and about was super easy as we just packed a wet bag, put the soiled diapers in the bag, and put both the bag and the dirty diaper in the diaper pail when we got home.  No smell but yes a slightly larger diaper bag.

A whole lot less garbage created, cute cloth diaper bum, economical, and minimal extra effort has made cloth diapering a great choice for us!

 

Setting Limits the Montessori Way

By Rubi

Being a mother is one of the biggest challenges I will ever have.  In my opinion, caring for a tiny human being could be one of the most rewarding things in the world and the most stressful thing at the same time.

Now that F is able to walk everywhere, she doesn’t want to stop (which actually makes me really happy, unlike some other parents who complain about this issue). F is free to move and touch almost everything around the house.

As she grows and gains more confidence she shows her temperament in different ways.  Most of the time she has a hard time understanding that there are things she is not allowed to do such as:

• Hitting the glass door with her toys or materials
• Hitting her friends with her  xylophone’s mallet
• Grabbing the toys from her friend’s hands (Over and over. She follows them and takes or wants whatever the other child has.)
• Screaming at her friends in the face to get a toy back
• Walking while eating or drinking

All of those things are really hard to understand for a 14 month old child, who now has her hands free to explore and very little language skills. That being said I strongly believe that it is important to set limits and set up the foundations for care, love and respect.

We are also welcoming her friend K (10 months) into our home and I want F to be respectful and show her positive behaviour. K will stay with us 5 days a week and I want her to have a pleasant experience and feel safe, as well.

When I was working in a primary environment (children 3 to 6), at VMS, I learned that consistency is the main key when you are trying to set up boundaries. For example, sometimes I had to show a child how to tuck in their chair over and over until they internalized the concept. It was such a joy to see that proud child showing their friends how to tuck in a chair in a respectful and loving way. I realized that it was all worth it.

Here are some examples of the way I guide F when she shows behaviour that is not appropriate:

If F is hitting the glass door with a toy, I walk towards her, get to her eye level and calmly say “F No!” I show her how the toy works and give it back to her; if she hits the glass again I gently remove the toy from her hands and say: “It is time to put this toy away, since you are not using it properly” (even if she cries). I make sure to observe if she is hungry, tired, frustrated or just needs attention from Mommy. It is important to remember that a child this age may hit or act this way out of frustration or anger, or just to discover how others will respond if she has this behaviour. Sometimes they need an adult to consistently provide limits until they have internalized their limits and can successfully manage their impulses.

I like the way Deborah Carlisle Solomon addresses setting limits in her book, Baby Knows Best: Raising a Confident and Resourceful Child, the RIE Way: “Sometimes a toddler will give a little push to another child who is in her way, and that is the end of it. At other times, it’s plain to see that there is more energy behind the push, it may signal the beginning of more aggression. Then it may be necessary to squat down on their level. Your peaceful presence may be enough to prevent things from escalating…..If one or both children continue trying to hit or push, you may put one hand between them so that it won’t be possible for one child to hit or push the other…… Do your best to set limits clearly and calmly, without judgment or alarm.” (At the beginning when F started hitting I was alarmed and concern. I decided to analyze the situation and go back to do more reading. That made me realize that it is a normal behaviour in a young child and it is up to me to address it properly)

When her friends come over and she consistently takes the toys away from them and they get frustrated and cry. I get F’s attention and say: “F, _____ is playing with the puzzle. You can have something else,” and I give her another option or options. I do not say “you have to share,” since it is important that she understands that another child is using that toy and she can play with the toy as soon as it is available. If the other child doesn’t care that F took the toy away from him/her and moves onto a different toy, I normally say nothing since it is nice to allow them the opportunity to resolve their issues.

When she hits another child I immediately stop her from doing it and give positive attention to the other child and say: “I am sorry F hit you.”  If the child lets me hug him/her then I do it.  F gets upset and wants me to pick her up immediately. I just say: “F you have to touch him/her gently” and show her how to touch her friends.

F is a loving and a very active child who is learning that there are many things in this world that she is not able to do and that there are some limitations in her environment. She also gets frustrated when this happens and she shows that she is upset, needs attention, or she is tired. She likes to get people’s attention. I just have to show her that she will not get positive attention when she does things that are not safe for her or her friends.

I know I have to be patient and consistent because she will eventually stop hitting and will touch her friends gently.  She will learn how to respect and care for them, as well as respect her toys, materials and environment.

Toys for a One Year Old

By Rubi

The first birthday of a child is a big deal for a parent. There are so many decisions to be made such as the amount of people to be invited, the type of food to be served, and the place to have the party at, etc.  When I finally made all those decisions and planed a big party another issue came up. Some people began to ask me:  what would I like them to give F for her first birthday party? They said could you give us some ideas? They know I like to choose carefully what kind of toys she plays with. Then I started looking for toys that I knew she would like to play with, that were durable, pretty and challenging for her.

I didn’t want to dictate people what to give F for her birthday but I did want to guide them so they had an idea of what she usually plays with.

An important note:  Many of links that I used for this post are from Amazon because it was easy for me to find a link and a picture. I noticed that some toys are more expensive at amazon. I told people to look for them at their different local toy stores and they were cheaper.

Here are some toys that I came up with:

Plan toy solid drum (by hape) 

Dancing butterflies push and pull (by hape)  

Hape first puzzle  

Hape twist and turnables  

Plan toy shape and sort it out  

Plan toys nuts and bolts  

Plan toy stacking tree  

Magnetic blocks  (Tegu)

Bowling set (Growing Up Wild)  

Leaves puzzle (Manzanita Kids) 

Nesting doll puzzle (Manzanita Kids) 

Grimms’s Wooden stacking and nesting rainbow bowls   

Truck  

I love this truck because she can place items on the bed of the pick up track  

 

She has these toys and I believe they are great for one year olds.

Xylophone  

Rocking horse  

Toddler size Apron  

 

Spinning Top 

Balls are always fun, so find one that is not too big or hard. A friend got me one that lights up and F absolutely loves it.

 

Prepare the Environment for Your Toddler’s Independence

By Tomoko

My daughter is already 22 months old and I’m realizing it’s so much work to prepare her environment at home. I’m not trying to make a perfect environment for her. I make minimum effort otherwise I will be a stressed, fussy mom leaving my every day’s house work behind.

There are some points I always follow in order to make a Montessori environment for her independence and development.

1.      Follow your child’s orderly sense

Children in this age group are nourished and made secure by the order of things. Therefore, we need to prepare an environment for the child that demonstrates order and structure in action. Experiences of order assist her in developing her will. “What, when, and where” provide the opportunities for these expectations and the structure and opportunity for limits and discipline. We want to make it clear to the child in her daily life: what to expect, when to expect it, and where to expect it.

2.      Share your work at home with your child

When you are cleaning, washing dishes, folding clothes etc…. please share your work with your child as long as she is interested so the child feels that she is involved and she is no longer a baby who needs somebody’s help. Children need to experience work in collaboration with adults for it to have an educational purpose.  Once the child has started her work, encourage her to complete her work.  The child needs to repeat the process for perfection. Once the child feels that she is capable, she gains self-confidence and self-esteem. Eventually, the child learns concentration, patience, logical sequence, responsibility and independence through work.

3.      Organize her environment

Let your child know where her belongings are to help your child develop her orderly sense. All her belongings have to be accessible for her. Toddlers can dress themselves. If she wet her shirt, just ask her to bring a clean shirt and dress herself. Ask her to put her dirty shirt in the laundry basket. When you are going out, the child can go get her jacket and hat and put her shoes on by herself. You just need to tell her directions and help her to do it by herself.

If your child has art materials like drawing and gluing, let the child know where the paper is so she doesn’t need to ask parents to get more paper.

4.      Follow the child’s routine

The child needs consistency of schedule and routines for the child to understand what is expected of her. (Schedule of mealtimes, naps, activity, and sleep) This can assist her orderly sense. It is beneficial that parents read to your child every night before bed.

5.      Let your child prepare her snack

Yes, your child will make a mess. But everybody loves this activity. If you feed your child apples, bananas, avocados or mandarin oranges, just prepare a set of food materials (a tray, chopping board, butter knife, apron, tongs, small dishes, etc.) Let the child peel the food and slice it. Once she slices it, use the tongs to move the food to the dish)

If she spills, encourage her to wipe it up by herself. If an adult cleans it for her, she doesn’t care when she spills or drops her food. The child needs to be aware that there is cause and effect.  If she spills, she needs to wipe it. The child experiences the logical consequence of order. The awareness of herself and her environment is the purpose of accomplishing a task.

For children to develop confidence in their own abilities, they have to be helped to care for themselves independently just as soon as they are able. Try not to look at efficiency or speed, the focus is on process and on the repetition and practice that are required to work toward perfection in all processes.

Time for a Diaper Change

By Carrie

Developing a strong bond with my daughter is very important to me.  While I shared with you the importance of allowing babies to develop independence in this post, time together is also very important.  Rubi’s post on language development stimulated me to share with you an important part of fostering that strong bond: changing her diaper.  Rubi shared that times of caring for your child’s physical needs, such as bathing, can be times for language development.  These can also be strong moments of togetherness for you and your child.

According to Dr. Silvana Montanaro, there are 3 aspects of togetherness that are important in the mother-child bond: holding, handling, and feeding.  By handling she is referring to when we care for the infant’s physical needs such as changing a diaper, dressing, or bathing.  While she specifically refers to maternal care in her book, the same principle applies for all adults who interact with a baby.  Perhaps it seems odd that changing my daughter’s diaper is one of the most important ways I have fostered our bond but it is an important time of togetherness for us.

 Too many parents and adults still miss this point and handle a child solely with the aim of accomplishing, as soon as possible, the more obvious, physical tasks: changing, dressing, bathing, etc.  The parents may be well-trained, efficient and capable of doing good work but they fail to use this time to have an encounter.  To use it as an occasion for meeting and expressing feelings.  There is not much personal involvement, because the idea is solely to accomplish an unemotional routine.  ~Dr. Silvana Montanaro, Understanding the Human Being

Speaking with a friend she boasted about her infant’s bottom never seeing the light of day as she could change a diaper so quickly.  Many adults approach changing a diaper with disdain, they keep “score” between mom & dad, desperately try to distract the infant from what is happening to them, or assign a lack of importance to it saying to their child “you can go back to playing soon” and thinking for themselves what they would rather be doing.

 So we tend to do these routines quickly instead of slowly.  We tend to avoid the movements instead of repeating then in order to let the child try to understand what is happening.  What we should do is to explain our actions to the infant, in a simple and short way, touch the different parts of his body gently, name them and ask him to collaborate with us.  This collaboration can begin from the moment of birth, but it requires a little more time and the basic trust of the child, who is an intelligent human being, eager to interact with us.  Only when we become able to give maternal care with the child’s collaboration are we really doing things “with the child” and not “to the child.” ~Dr. Silvana Montanaro, Understanding the Human Being

When A. finishes one activity and I am not interrupting her (often after she finishes eating), I’ll sing a little ditty “Time for a diaper change, time for a diaper change, time for a diaper, diaper change.”  I wait for her to respond to me.  She gets a smile on her face and I tell her “Up you get” as I pick her up.  (I always try to tell her what I am doing to her, even simple things like picking her up)  Recently she has started stretching out her arms for me.  As I carry her to the change table I might continue singing the ditty or talk to her about what she was just doing.  I tell her, “Down you go” or “Lay down” as I lay her down on the change table so that I am directly facing her and she can properly see me while we connect.  “Let’s take off your pants,” I say as I take off her pants.  This “let’s” begins the routine of doing it together and not doing things to her.  “Undo your onesie,” as I unsnap her fitted bodysuit.  “Let’s see what’s inside,” as I unsnap/undo her diaper.  “Oh it’s a poop” and really try not to make a disgusted face or sound if the smell is bad or the poo is quite large, although I may acknowledge “Oh my, it’s a big one!”  Or I’ll say “Just a pee” depending on what the occasion calls for.  She lifts her bottom for me to wipe.  I take out a wipe and tell her “wipe, wipe, wipe” as I do so.

I put a clean dry cloth under her bottom and pick her up “Time to use the potty.”  I place her on her potty and give her some time.  Sometimes I just let her be, sometimes I sing another ditty “she goes pee pee in the potty, pee pee in the potty, pee pee in the potty: A!”, sometimes I’ll use the toilet to model for her, and sometimes I’ll use the cue sound we used when we started doing EC (Elimination Communcation) with “psssss.”  After a short period of time I’ll give her a pat/wipe dry with the cloth (if she urinated) and carry her back to the change table.
“Down you go” as I lay her down.  “Let’s put on a clean, dry diaper” as I choose which diaper to put on.  (We use cloth diapers but during this photo shoot we had to temporarily switch to disposables)  Sometimes she will lay there watching me and listening to me, and sometimes she will roll over and now sometimes sit up.  I keep a hand gently on her for safety and talk to her about the diaper I’m choosing, “It’s your pretty, pink diaper.  You look so beautiful in this shade of pink.”  If she is on her stomach or sitting up I lay her down again, “You need to lie down so I can put your diaper on.”  Sometimes she is squirmy and sometimes she lays there watching me.  I talk to her as I put on her diaper, “This diaper matches the pink sweater you’re wearing today.  Your great-grandma made that sweater.  Let’s do up the snaps on your diaper: ooonnne, twwooo.”

Usually she watches me as I talk to her and she coos back but sometimes she is very squirmy.  She is often very squirmy if she has just reached a new stage of development, such as now when she often tries to climb off of the change table.  If she is very squirmy I place my hand on her stomach and lean right over to place my face very close to her face to focus on our connection.  “A., I need to put your diaper on now.  I love you very much.”  Sometimes I kiss her tummy and this usually puts a smile on her face and helps to reconnect her to what we’re doing and remind her that this is our time together.  “Time to put your pants back on.”  She sticks out her leg, “One leg.  The other leg.” (or right leg and left leg if I’m really on the ball)  “We’re all done” as I pick her up and give her a cuddle.

“Ah booo” says A., “Ah booo” I respond. I try to mimic the sounds she makes to encourage her language development.

Does this take a long time?  You bet it does!  It is an important relationship to spend time on.  Do I honestly say all this absolutely every time?  No.  Sometimes my mind is elsewhere or I’m so tired, but by talking to her like this for the majority of diaper changes I usually realize when I’ve gone silent and snap out of it.  I certainly wouldn’t want you to think this is an exact script to follow as it is important your bonding come from your heart.  Do I call my husband to change diapers?  Of course.  I really enjoy listening to him interact with our daughter during diaper changes.

Why did I just spend so long writing about changing a diaper?  Changing a diaper, dressing/undressing, and bathing are very important parts of living life together with a baby.  For adults we enjoy spending time together talking, sharing a meal, going for a walk, or reconnecting at the end of our work days.  This is what living life together means for adults.  For a baby these moments of “handling” are often over-looked as important times to bond with a baby and for language development.  In reality, diaper changes is what living life together means for an adult and baby.  I encourage you to re-think how you approach that next diaper change, outfit change, or bath to really connect with your child.

What is a good social life if not the joy of passing the time with others, accepting them in our environment, talking and smiling together and sharing each other’s company and activities?  In a sense, we invited the child to our house when we decided to give it life and he must feel how glad we are to have him with us.  “Handling” in maternal care is the right moment for a happy social interaction that teaches the child the great benefits of social life.  ~Dr. Silvana Montanaro, Understanding the Human Being 

The Importance of Movement and the Impact of Clothing

By Rubi

Some of our blog’s readers expressed interest reading about clothing; since I love talking about movement I thought it would be interesting to share a paper I wrote a while ago when taking my Assistant to Infancy training. I also wanted to see if my ideas had changed after I had a baby, to my surprised I feel exactly the same way as I did before.

Movement

Maria Montessori explained that Humans have a tendency for movement. Indeed this movement begins in the womb, (humans have an inclination, a need, a strong desire to move and explore, movement is hardwired into them, and they are born with it.) Babies, in fact, spend nearly half of their waking time moving, either kicking, bouncing, or waving their arms, crawling, standing, etc. While it may appear all this activity is just for the sake of moving, it’s important to realize a baby is never “just moving” or “just playing.” Every action extends the child’s development in some way, this movement could be voluntary or involuntary, it doesn’t really matter they need to move in order to continuing wiring their brain. Repetition of movement is one of the keys for healthy brain development.

“In order to develop his mind a child must have objects in his environment which he can hear and see. Since he must develop himself through his movement, through the work of his hands, he has need of objects with which he can work that provide motivation for his activity.” (Maria Montessori, The Secret of Childhood, pg. 82)

Thanks to new insights in brain research, we now know that early movement experiences are considered essential to the neural stimulation (the “use-it-or-lose-it” principle involved in the keeping or pruning of brain cells) needed for healthy brain development.

Not long ago, neuroscientists believed that the structure of a human brain was genetically determined at birth. They now realize that although the main “circuits” are “prewired” (for such functions as breathing and the heartbeat), the experiences that fill each child’s days are what actually determine the brain’s ultimate design and the nature and extent of that child’s adult capabilities.

Neurophysiologist Carla Hannaford, in her book, Smart Moves: Why Learning Is Not All in Your Head, states: “Physical movement, from earliest infancy and throughout our lives, plays an important role in the creation of nerve cell networks which are actually the essence of learning.” She then goes on to relate how movement, because it activates the neural wiring throughout the body, makes the entire body not just the brain the instrument of learning.

“…the development of movement is found to be connected with sight.  The first step in movement is that of grasping or prehension; as soon as the hand grasps something, consciousness is called to the hand, and prehension is developed, that which was at first instinctive becoming a conscious movement.  At six months it is fully intentional.  At ten months, observation of the environment has awakened the interest of the child, and he wants to catch hold of everything, so prehension is now accompanies by desire.  He begins to exercise the hand by changing the places of things around him, by opening and shutting doors, pulling out drawers, putting stoppers in bottles, and so on.  Through these exercises, he acquires ability.”  (Maria Montessori, Education for a New World, pg. 42)

What else does movement do? Movement contributes to children’s fine and gross motor development, builds physical strength and stamina, enhances perceptual motor skills, attention span, improves circulation, and helps maintain muscle tone and thus postural control, etc. Now we know all the things infants and children are missing when they are being held by the adult or being confined in a crib, play pen, bouncer, car seat, carrier, stroller, bouncer, walker, exersaucer, or something as simple as wearing the clothing that restricts their movement.

Restriction of Movement

Continual restriction of a child’s movement may have negative consequences for the child’s motor and cognitive and emotional development in later years. For instance if the baby cannot crawl to the toy she or he sees across the room, s/he tent to forget about it. If s/he forgets about it, s/he cannot explore its shape, texture and shape. In short if s/he cannot physically explore something, then s/he is not engaging his/her mind to learn about it.  Children cannot take the information from the environment just by looking at it. In order to absorb information, young children need to hear, look, at, move toward, touch, and feel all the various stimuli.  Maria Montessori called the child during the first three years of life “The Sensorial Explorer”

Tara Losquadro writes in her book Why Motor Skills Matter, “When parents provide an environment full of possibilities and understand the basic principles of physical development, they can enhance their child’s gross and fine motor skills and his speech development, among other things, In turn; these enhancements benefit the child’s emotional well-being and the development of higher self-esteem. With higher self-esteem comes a greater ability to take charge of situations, and to thus feel more secure.” We need to provide them with different sensorial experiences always remembering to provide the right amount of stimuli, never too much because this would cause over stimulation.

Still, recent evidence indicates that infants are spending upward a large amount of waking hours a week in things like high chairs, carriers, car seats. The reasons for this trend are varied. From what I have observed, part of the problem is that infants in some childcare centers; where there may not be enough space to let babies roam the floor. Or, given the number of infants enrolled, there may be little opportunity for caregivers to spend one-on-one time with each baby. This means, in the morning, an infant is typically fed, dressed, and then carried to the automobile, where she’s placed in a car seat. She’s then carried into the childcare center, where she may spend much of her time in a crib or playpen. At the end of the day, she’s picked up, placed again into the car seat, and carried back into the house, where she’s fed, bathed, and put to bed.

Clothing: Why is clothing so important when babies or toddlers move?

Clothing may restrict the child’s movement when extending his/her arm, practicing batting, reaching movements, crawling, walking and movement in general, even lessening the child’s desire to move. The child when moving a specific part of his/her body is being restrained by a piece of material, and s/he assimilates that piece of material as his/her own ability to extend his/her limbs, or his/her own ability to move. It’s important that we choose clothing for our children that is comfortable to wear, appropriate to the environment they will be in, age appropriate and designed to accommodate their greatest variety of movement. It must also be the right size. Hand me downs can be great but if they are too big or too small they might thwart the natural movement of the child or encourage bad habits and posture. A friend gave me an example of this when she was looking after a 7 year old. The pants were too big, always falling down, the boy consistently pulled them up, tripped over them, underwear exposed, etc. He is a very active child and has the necessity to move. Wearing this type of clothing can be dangerous and also draw continuous or negative attention from adults; because of these inadequacies his self-esteem and desire to move may be affected.

What is it that parents look for when buying baby clothes? Is it appearance; is it durability, aesthetics, price, brands, trends, fabrics, fashion, personal style or all of the above?

Examples of clothing that allow for movement

I have only one request for you, when looking for baby clothing try to image yourself in that specific piece of clothing and think how functional or practical it is going to be wearing that piece of garment all day long, including visits to the bathroom. See if it feels comfortable when moving arms, legs, stretching, bending, crawling, etc. If it is too tight or too loose, that you may fall down if you step on it, is it easy to put it on and take it off, how long would it take for you to put it on and take it off, what kind of clothing aids in freedom of movement (this is if we want to encourage independence in toddlers). Young children like to be independent and try to dress and undress independently, don’t kill the desire to do it by buying clothes with complicated fastenings. Try to use clothing that is easy to slip on, pull in and out and stretches when take it off.

Remember people who make baby clothes are not necessarily childhood development specialist; they are designing clothes that catches the eye of the adult, so next time you go baby clothing shopping take into consideration the importance of movement development and its consequences.  What is more important, being in style or being able to move?

My Experience with my Daughter

Here are some pictures of F wearing clothing that in my opinion allows her to move freely. I love seeing my daughter in little dresses but she can’t really crawl or move in them, so I’ve decided to wait until she is older to wear them if she wants to. If she really has to wear a dress for a special occasion (e.g. wedding) I tuck the dress in her pants so she doesn’t trip when crawling or pulling to stand up.

 

The Wholesome Language

By Yvonne

Warm greeting to everyone, how’s everyone’s week so far? I hope you are all enjoying your adventure with your little one.  I had the privilege of taking the Assistants to Infancy course when I was pregnant with our first daughter E. for the first summer of our training. I was witnessing what I learnt in action when we did our prenatal timeline chart. I was eighteen weeks pregnant; I felt for the first time a little bubble with E. when she made her first interaction with me during my pregnancy.  During our training, we learnt that the first six weeks of their life after they are born is very important to make a strong bond with your child. I used the first six weeks to have intimate time with her to guide her, care for her and talking to her about the new world around her.

With my ethnic background as Asian, I have set in mind when I have my own children, I will be passing on the Mandarin language to my children while my husband, A. speak Cantonese to our children. Furthermore, during our training, we learnt to have intensive conversations with them. I have made a simple tune for each of my daughters. I started singing the song to them since my pregnancy. Furthermore, I found out after they were born that this is one of the tools I can use to calm them down. It helped assure them that they are safe and I am here for them and with them.

When E. was about two months old. I decided to annunciate the Alphabets with their phonetic sounds. I saw E.’s face light up as she study intensively as I pronounce each sound. I can also saw E. was trying her hardest to communicate with me by moving her mouth and making cooing sound. We continued to communicate this way for the next couple months. On our Second Wedding Anniversary date when she was eight month old, she called “mama” looking at me intensively and with meaning.  Some parents use sign language as a tool to communicate with their child. I also tried that with E. However, I suggest you follow your child’s developmental stage. For E., I introduced two signs to her, but she was making up her own way of communicating with me with her own consistent made up sign of her own. Furthermore, every time she was making those signs, she was telling me exactly what she want me to know by words. Therefore, I did not continue more sign language with her as she was showing me the urge to communicate with me starting with two words, then four words then it continue to evolve.  She continues to learn how to speak in Mandarin, Cantonese and now English as she is enrolled in an English speaking Montessori preschool. It was amazing to see her continue to gain vocabularies each day. Moreover, she knows to switch to speak to me in Mandarin and Cantonese with A.

When H. was born, I continued to use the same method with her in her language development, but I have keep in mind to not to have any preconceive idea of how H. should be with her language development as she is another individual human being with her own set of developmental agenda. I also make sure, E. and H. has the equal rights to speak for themselves instead of having E. speak for H.

As the second child in the family, H. learns to speak from all of us including her own older sister E. She started communicating with us and sang songs like her sister. H. has the urge to be heard and her rights to be understood. Therefore, her language skills took a roller coaster ride starting from eight months old. She also developed the skill of able to switching the language “’channel” in her own mind. For example, one sunny afternoon, we were at my sister in-law’s house having a great afternoon; one of the ladies who have not seen H. for over a year and she said to her “wow you have grown so much into a little beautiful girl”. H. was a year and four month old. She replied to her all on her own in English “thank you”. I was as surprised as everyone there as she was not formally introduce to the English language, but her absorbent mind like the sponge was helping to take in all the information around her world in everyway possible.

As I have mentioned before and strongly believe; follow the child, your own child and take in all the information you gather, but see what your child can do in his and her own time as they are all uniquely created individuals. Happy sharing everyone.

Admitted that the child is born with the sense of hearing, so that he hears the human voice, why among the millions of sounds surrounding him does he pick out those only for imitation?  It is because human language has made a special impression on the sub-conscious mind, evoking an intensity of feeling, an enthusiasm, able to set in vibration invisible fibres for the reproduction of those sounds, while others cause no such living thrill.  So exact is the child’s absorption of this language is that it forms part of his psychic personality and is called his mother-tongue.  ~Maria Montessori, “Education for a New World”

Setting Limits

by Tomoko

When my daughter was still an infant, I could never imagine that she would ever become a child with the “terrible twos” since she was a happy and gentle child.  When she became around 15 months, she started to have a strong “will” and show aggressiveness. I was so shocked when she tried to hit me, talk back to me and refuse to do anything.  I guess it is a typical stage for her age.  She is struggling to express herself when she does not yet have the words and wants to assert her independence.

I always deal with this stage in my toddler classroom but it’s so hard for me when it’s my own child because I tend to get more emotional. I try to be calm and not to get upset. I try to explain what she did and that makes me feel sad. Building a reasoning mind is important for this stage.  When your child doesn’t want to do something you ask, please explain why it’s important to do it.  Here are some tips  that may help when you encounter difficult situations with your child.

“The child needs to move freely within the environment so that he may gain independence. Although the child is still young, she requires clear and consistent limits.”

For example, when the child is asked “Would you like to have a cucumber or carrot?” If the child chooses carrots, she needs to try it. “Would you like to go to the potty by yourself or do you want me to take you there?” If the child doesn’t want to go, you will take the child.  If your child doesn’t want to hold your hand on the street, “Would you like to hold my hand or would you like to sit in the stroller?”

•  The limits need to be consistent so the child gets a clear idea.
• We always need to be clear why we are doing that for the child.
• Giving real options allows the child to experience logical consequences.  For instance if you were to say “If you don’t put your shoes on now, I will go shopping without you, but realistically you can’t go out without your child.”  A real option would be to say, “We need to go out now.  You can put your shoes on or I will put them on for you.”
• Set the limit in the relationship for the child and the other children’s safety.
• If you know the child will answer “No” don’t ask the question. For example, “Would you like to go to the washroom after drawing?” The child might say “No” so provide specific direction instead such as “Go to the washroom after drawing.”
• If the child is not playing with the blocks properly, then distract or entice the child with another activity.  Prepare an alternative such as, “Let’s do this puzzle.  We’ll put your blocks away.”
• Always acknowledge positive and good behavior of the child. “You put your toys away all by yourself. You did it.”
• Limit the use of negative words. For example, instead of saying “Don’t run. Don’t touch,” say “Walk quietly in the house.” “That is dangerous, so use this instead.” State the affirmative of what the child can do.
• Become the role model for the child.

“The child’s liberty should have as its limit interests of the group to which he belongs. Its form should consist in what we call good breeding and behaviour. We should therefore prevent a child from doing anything which may offend or hurt others, or which is impolite or unbecoming. But everything else, every act that can be useful in any way whatever, may be expressed. It should not only be permitted but it should also be observed by the teacher.  This is essential.  From his scientific training, a teacher should acquire not only an ability but also an interest in observing natural phenomena. In our system he should be much more passive than active, and his passivity should be compounded of an anxious scientific curiously and a respect for the phenomena which he wishes to observe. It is imperative that a teacher understand and appreciate his position as an observer.”  Discovery of the Child by Maria Montessori

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